Dear Penitent: Nice try...but it doesn't work that way...YOU have to feel it in your heart and mind by yourself at first...not try to palm it off on what you would probably consider to be avuncular bullshit.
However...I've had a chat with J. (it's a local call from Santa Barbara) and put in a good word for you...and HE said "knock off the wiseass bullshit and He'll let it go this time."
He said visiting ZBA would go a long way to healing the rift!
Uncle ZBA a/k/a Yoda"So the Lord blessed the latter end of Jobmore than his beginning."-- Job, 42.12